When I need to consider carefully how I am using my life.
This devotion was something that has hit home for me lately. That when we pass we will have to be accountable for every wrong we have done. This can be very scary for every person on the planet. We are not perfect, we all have our faults and we have all sinned. But this is not meant to frighten us because we already have the assurance of the forgiveness in Christ. Now I am sure every religion has their own way of handling this aspect but this is something that I really love about being a Christian. Is the love we have in Christ. My God is a loving God. But it also means that I will strive every day to be worthy of this love.
The LORD sees clearly what a man does, examining every path he takes. Proverbs 5:21
I feel like I am a good person, I don’t get in trouble, I strive for each day to be the best I can. I raise my children the best I can, I take care of my family, I try to be a good friend. I know that I am not perfect but I try each day to make it work. Some days are of course better than others. Last night was the absolute worse, I am at my lowest at night. I need sleep. I lose my temper and I get upset when I know my daughter doesn’t know any better. She cannot understand that Mommy needs her sleep and Mommy also has to be there for her brother to get him to school. I have personal issues to get through and my children don’t know it so I work on each day to be a better person. One of my favorite quotes ever is:
“Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it yet.” – Anne of Green Gables
I hold onto that quote to get through the hard times. Now where you consider “tomorrow” is your own opinion, running on maybe 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night the days run together, lol.
Accountability can also be about others as well. Those that want to be in your life and stay in your life, are the people worth having in your life. I find that friends and family come and go in my life, but most of the time I find myself alone. The hard nights all I pray for is for someone to help me and my husband. I feel so bad him staying up with me because I know he has to go out and work a physically demanding job all day. I would love for someone to help me at night. Take the night shift with the baby, that would be amazing. I also would love to find someone to help me with my house. It’s an absolute disaster, I need help with my organizing and deep cleaning. I really can’t afford to hire any one but I might need to look into it. Because something has got to give. I pray that I can find patience with my child and with myself. I need to let go of the preconceived notions of what I think should happen, and just do what I need to do. I will keep praying that tomorrow will be a better day, that tonight will be a better night. That is all I can do.